Crimes Against (Q)-Manity: The Youth Hater

I'm starting to see a trend involving delayed trains and crimes against (Q)-manity. Tonight I waited about 15 minutes for a train at rush hour. When a train finally arrived, I hopped on and saw a huge bag of cans sitting in the middle of the train, taking up half of the pole space around it. I looked around at first, unable to figure out who the cans belonged to, until I saw this guy in a window seat muttering to himself and anyone else within earshot.

This guy, with stains all over his purple pants, threw a fit every time the train slowed down. "This train is disgusting! I mean, I know there are a lot of trains coming through here (Atlantic Tunnel) but this is ridiculous! This is terrible! This train disgusts me." The rest of the passengers around him realized the situation and avoided eye contact. At one point the guy tried to initiate a conversation with a young woman sitting next to him. He commented on the phone in her hands, mentioning that he never had anything like that when he was a kid. The woman ignored him. Everything was going smooth enough until a girl in her early-mid 20's answered her cell phone. "SSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!" our guy directed at her loudly. The girl looked at him and asked "Why?"

That's when everything fell apart.

"Why?" our guy throws his hands up in the air. "Because you're on a train. Show some manners."

"It's a public place," she argued. "I can talk on my phone."

"No you can't! You're on a train! Show some manners!" The two continued with this for a little bit until we realized the guy's agenda. "This is the problem with your age group. No manners. No respect." It's not until he said something to the effect of "You're all a bunch of idiots, everyone of you" that the young woman on her cell phone lost her patience. "Fuck you," she told him. "Fuck you!" he fired back. "You young bitch."

The girl fought back until a woman sitting near her told her to ignore the guy. Pretty soon the man was on to a rant about how cell phones have basically destroyed our culture. The woman who advised the silent treatment then jumped into the conversation. "Excuse me, but don't you think that last statement is a little ignorant?" She went on to inform him that she sells cell phones and described the benefits of the handheld devices, adding, "Cell phones are cheaper than making calls all the time from pay phones." The cell phone argument continued for a little while and then right before I got off, the spat ended with a bang. The man said, "Pay phones are more expensive now because you created the cell phone." She replied, "I didn't create the cell phone, honey. If I did, I wouldn't be riding the iron horse with you."