Crimes Against (Q)-Manity: The Youth Hater

I'm starting to see a trend involving delayed trains and crimes against (Q)-manity. Tonight I waited about 15 minutes for a train at rush hour. When a train finally arrived, I hopped on and saw a huge bag of cans sitting in the middle of the train, taking up half of the pole space around it. I looked around at first, unable to figure out who the cans belonged to, until I saw this guy in a window seat muttering to himself and anyone else within earshot.

This guy, with stains all over his purple pants, threw a fit every time the train slowed down. "This train is disgusting! I mean, I know there are a lot of trains coming through here (Atlantic Tunnel) but this is ridiculous! This is terrible! This train disgusts me." The rest of the passengers around him realized the situation and avoided eye contact. At one point the guy tried to initiate a conversation with a young woman sitting next to him. He commented on the phone in her hands, mentioning that he never had anything like that when he was a kid. The woman ignored him. Everything was going smooth enough until a girl in her early-mid 20's answered her cell phone. "SSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!" our guy directed at her loudly. The girl looked at him and asked "Why?"

That's when everything fell apart.

"Why?" our guy throws his hands up in the air. "Because you're on a train. Show some manners."

"It's a public place," she argued. "I can talk on my phone."

"No you can't! You're on a train! Show some manners!" The two continued with this for a little bit until we realized the guy's agenda. "This is the problem with your age group. No manners. No respect." It's not until he said something to the effect of "You're all a bunch of idiots, everyone of you" that the young woman on her cell phone lost her patience. "Fuck you," she told him. "Fuck you!" he fired back. "You young bitch."

The girl fought back until a woman sitting near her told her to ignore the guy. Pretty soon the man was on to a rant about how cell phones have basically destroyed our culture. The woman who advised the silent treatment then jumped into the conversation. "Excuse me, but don't you think that last statement is a little ignorant?" She went on to inform him that she sells cell phones and described the benefits of the handheld devices, adding, "Cell phones are cheaper than making calls all the time from pay phones." The cell phone argument continued for a little while and then right before I got off, the spat ended with a bang. The man said, "Pay phones are more expensive now because you created the cell phone." She replied, "I didn't create the cell phone, honey. If I did, I wouldn't be riding the iron horse with you."

Bill Brand's Masstransiscope Gives B,Q Riders Even More Bragging Rights

Ditmas Parkers already have great scenery to distract us from our long commutes into Manhattan on the B and Q lines. Our route over the Manhattan Bridge gives us amazing views of the East River, Brooklyn Bridge, Statue of Liberty, Financial District, Chinatown, and Midtown. When the Waterfalls exhibit was on display, we could see all of them without having to get off the train. And when we go southbound we cut through our neighborhood's beautiful Victorian homes. We're really all set on the beautiful commute thing.

So I almost feel a little guilty every morning when we pass by Bill Brand's recently restored Masstransiscope. Last week Gothamist posted a vintage video where a reporter goes underground with Brand as he installs his colorful project. Check it out below:



To see the Masstransiscope in person, make sure you're looking out the right side of the train on the Manhattan bound B or Q between Dekalb and the bridge.

On The B: Unlikely Friends

These guys from different generations (and countries- guy on right is Russian) chatted all the way into Brooklyn.

Vegan Eats: Salud

This weekend we tried out Salud, the new health food and juice joint on Avenue H that everyone is talking about, and we were pretty impressed. The restaurant has several soups of the day, and we had the sweet potato and kale soup, which was a delicious blend of autumn vegetables. We also tried the Vegetarian Chicken Sandwich with TVP (pictured), which was pre-made earlier in the day. It was a little too plain for our tastes, lacking some zest which could be easily fixed with soy mayonnaise. The Amazin' Grilled Cheese was great. It has soy gouda cheese (casein-free), avocado, tomato, and sprouts on a delicious bread that is brushed with olive oil. I will definitely get that again.

Salud is family owned, and the Mexican hot chocolate is their grandmother's recipe. It is not as sweet as the powdered stuff you make at home and it has a hint of cinnamon in it. Best of all, it can be made with soy milk!

And of course, because it is a juice bar and smoothie place, we had to try some of their drinks. Patrick bravely ordered the Gownus Green juice: spinach, kale, parsley, celery, cucumbers, apples and spirulina. It tasted like your standard green juice- a little salty and slightly watery. It is certainly a health boost, but if you really want something tasty, try the Tropic-O-Lada smoothie with pineapple, mango, bananas, coconut flakes, and soy milk. Patrick declared it the best smoothie he has ever had (and the kid has had a lot of smoothies).

The interior is very welcoming and airy, although they could use a few more tables (business was very good when we were there). The customer service was excellent. We spoke with one of the owners who was very friendly and patient with our vegan questions. He was also nice enough to offer everyone samples of their homemade soups. The drink prices are somewhat on the high end, but still comparable to Newkirk Plaza's Bally's EFF, which lacks Salud's charm and efficiency.

Overall, we're pleasantly surprised to have a restaurant that is so accomodating to vegetarians and vegans in an unlikely location. Your move, Cortelyou.

Food: B Drinks: A
Service: A
Value: B
Atmosphere: A

Salud || 1308 Avenue H || 347-295-1191

Opening On Newkirk: Top Secret OB/GYN and Subway

As I was taking a picture of the sign in the ugly new building on Newkirk Avenue between Marlborough and Rugby a loud girl in her 20's who looked and sounded like she just got off the Q train from Kings Highway yelled "CAN I ASK YOU WHY YOU'RE TAKING PICTURES OF OUR ENTRANCE?" I told her they were for a website and she said "Oh, okay, it just seemed a little awkward." Um, you're awkward. So anyway, mystery solved. That place is a Midwifery and OB/GYN clinic. Great.

In more exciting news, a Subway is opening up in Newkirk Plaza across from the real subway entrance. Terrible vegan options, but oh well. It will smell good I guess.

Filming In Flatbush: Jessica Alba On Rugby Road

Jessica Alba's latest movie took over Ditmas Park last week, and Alba was on set Friday afternoon filming mostly interior scenes at 296 Rugby Road. According to IMDB, the movie, "An Invisible Sign Of My Own", is about a young math teacher who uses the subject to help her students through their own crises.

Presumably, the house on Rugby Road will play the part of Alba's father's home, because the only scenes we watched Friday involved the actress entering the home from the front porch and shouting "Dad??? Dad??? Dad???"

We snapped some great shots of the back of her head as she rehearsed her house-entering scene (that's her in the doorway with the brown coat and pigtails). And, of course, as soon as she came to the front of the porch and stood perfectly still for 30 seconds or so, looking out at the handful of paparrazi standing next to us, our batteries died. So you'll have to settle with some shots of the Rugby Road house and a neat glimpse at movie magic: a huge yellow color gel used to simulate that perfect end-of-the-day sunlight that filmmakers missed because of Friday's cloudy skies.

Vegan Eats: New Green House

As the temperatures begin to drop this month, ordering in sounds very appealing. New Green House Chinese Restaurant has a variety of options if you're too cold to go out and you're craving some fake meat. The menu layout is a little confusing, but what's happening here is that you have choices!

I'll admit that I'm still figuring out the exact science behind the vegetarian part of the menu, but the way most of the dishes in the Classic Entrees section seem to work (with the exception of the General Tso's) is that you choose the type of "meat" you want, the sauce you want, and a vegetable from the list.

My favorite is the General Tso's chicken. It's crispy and chewier than General Tso's tofu dishes I've gotten at other Chinese places. You know, it's more like real chicken. A large is usually enough for about 3 or 4 meals and it comes with some, not much, broccoli. We've also tried the mock chicken with black bean sauce and the mock chicken with szechuan sauce. This chicken was a different consistency than the General Tso's. It was thin slices and has no breading. I've seen this kind of consistency more often with mock beef. I haven't yet tried the mock beef at New Green House, and I'm just not adventurous enough to try the mock scallop or mock shrimp, so let me know what you think if you try it.

Food: General Tso's: A, Everything Else: B
Service: B+
Value: A
Atmosphere: C- (get delivery)

New Green House 1015 Avenue H 718-859-8081

Halloween Mischief on the Q train

Friday night on my way home from work I witnessed some really mean-spirited Halloween mischief. I was on a new Q train (don't get me started on that) and as the doors were about to close at Prospect Park, someone hurled an egg from the platform onto the train car. It hit the wall opposite the door with a loud thump, narrowly missing a man who was sitting there.

The egg splattered everywhere, with most of it dripping down the wall, the seat and all over the back of this man's coat. He was a middle-aged man with a mustache who was wearing a black letterman's jacket style wool coat and a baseball cap, and he was much cooler about the incident than I would have been.

The doors closed before most of us could even process what had happened and the train pulled off, leaving us with no chance to figure out who had thrown the egg. The man with egg on his coat stood up silently and walked to the nearest door, where he rode the rest of the trip. Passengers looked through their bags for napkins or tissues (all I had was some tupperware and a pair of socks, so I was no help) and the man next to me gave me a stack of napkins to hand to the egg victim. When I passed them to the egg man, he shrugged and gestured to how the egg was right in the middle of his back, out of his reach. So I stood up and wiped as much egg off as I could. It really surprised me that one egg made such a mess. Then the egg man found some napkins in his pocket and wiped the egg off the seat and the wall. He seemed so unfazed by it all. If an egg had gotten all over me, I would definitely not be thinking about the cleanliness of the train. I wouldn't be concerned with anyone other than myself.

It seemed like most of the people on the train really wanted to do something to help the man, and some offered him some kind words in addition to napkins. I wanted the man to get riled up so that we could all shout about how terrible people are and be united in our annoyance and anger. But his calm demeanor and total acceptance of the event actually made me feel calm, too. There was nothing we could do about it but try to clean up a little bit. Cursing or letting out a high pitched scream (that would have been my reaction, had I been egged) wouldn't help anything. I just hope I can be as cool and collected as that man if I'm ever in a similar situation. And I also hope I remember to stick some napkins in my purse. Just in case.